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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in courtney's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, August 12th, 2010
4:14 am
04 14, sick from two bottles of cheap wine.. up now since 03 00
no more cheap wine for me

Current Mood: na
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
7:11 pm
i wanted to live the life of a prince
because I thought saints were born saints
so indeed we didn't stand a chance
insalubrious offshoots of nature
with heart and mind of our own
all the daughters all the sons
taking centuries to unearth the creature
heralding a stage
where consciousness is higher
taken through a costly process
of success and failure
i thought saints were born saints
i looked in the dirt
and found wisdom is learnt
through a costly process
of success and failure
Friday, December 11th, 2009
1:12 pm
I have decided today that my livejournal will live again, I have ignored it so!
When I read old posts of my own and my friends I feel better connected to old feelings, places... I remember where I was when I read/wrote.. It is embarrassing and enjoyable to revisit old experiences and well.. I miss that
So, I am back! One day maybe others will join again too :)

Current Mood: content
Sunday, October 26th, 2008
7:44 pm
did everyone on LJ collectively get bored and stop posting?!? why livejournal, why!

Current Mood: confused
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
8:37 pm
alphabeat is rediculous but they make me happy
Monday, May 12th, 2008
3:08 am
time just keeps on comming
one more month and my life in london is going to dramatically change
3 more months and i am going back home for a huge family event and a re group.
back to london and on to the rest of the year with my partner.. then on my own again
i know its rediculous, but i miss the year already

Thursday, May 1st, 2008
11:10 pm
my family has come and gone and i am back to London onmy own..
as i walked down the platform it began to rain.. slowly at first then more steadily as i ascended up the staircase.. blending into a hundred other little black jackets, making my way to some destination unknown to the others around me.. I felt as though my character had faded out of my families lives once again, as their story line continued forward.
my throat swelled, i realized how much i missed them all to begin with.. my past to relate with my present.
It has been a great few weeks though.. and i wouldnt want to trade any of that in.. i would rather have a family like mine far away, then any other right next door.
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
6:41 pm
mw city tour guide service just got better! i may not be the best at picking restaraunts, but hell.. i can get you where you need to go
Terry left today, hopefully not to frightened of my coworkers and friends here.. but i enjoyed his company, and together we accomplished more in the city this past week then i did in the past 8 months!
2 more weeks of this type of getting around and i might finally know my way in central London.
I have to meet one friend tonight, and then tomorrow morning my parents and sister arrive for a two week holiday all around Britan
Its been about a year since we've seen each other and i am a bit nervous about how we all gel back together
im sure its going to be a bit emotional for me at first (or all of us)
but i have almost two weeks to reconnect and just spend time with my family again.
and that feels pretty damn good to say

Current Mood: mellow
Monday, March 31st, 2008
6:00 pm
about to check how much i owe to visa.
whoa boy

Current Mood: nervous
Sunday, March 30th, 2008
4:07 pm
i went on a walk through west hampstead graveyard today spur of the moment style..
it was fantastic.. makes me realize why people want to be buried in places like that
calm and serene

it helps that its the first really nice day in weeks here.. today i am calm
.. but i guess thats the sort of mood graveyards can put you in


Current Mood: calm
Monday, March 10th, 2008
12:12 am
10,000 b.c.. not only did they somehow invent brilliant dentistry, but also remembered the shame of their genitals, to cover them up the way god intended
.. i think the sequel is going to be fantastic

Current Mood: cynical
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
2:11 am
the short list of my trip to Norway (in no particular order)
aquired a new touque, ate good indian, finally understand what a fjord looks like, viking ships, hot showers, turbulance, cat naps and lie-ins, stargazing, moongazing, falling on ice.. lots, naked statues, frozen lakes, palace of a king, instant coffee, forskinsparken(haha), cactus flavored pastilles, blood, grumpy ryan, grumpy courtney, fishcakes, braun/fires, H&M, late nights, clone high, pouch tabaccoo, trams, mormons, the population of Chilliwack, laying in mud on hills, cat power, memphis minnie, Farts-dempere, carniferous trees, low clouds, arctic winds, and cross country skiers

i am ready to sprawl out in my own bed and sleep until late in the morning

Current Mood: calm
Thursday, February 21st, 2008
1:01 am
2 more hours.. then a journey up to oslo

long night.. but its going to be worth it

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
12:58 am
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
--Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

today felt really good.. i am starting on a new page (...finally)
Thursday, February 14th, 2008
1:19 am
who knew online booking could be so satisfying
done. and done again.
looks like i am going to wales for a few days in march, but first i am working 9 days in a row, then flying to oslo

suppose i should get some sleep before another fully booked afternoon
sigh.. grind away
Thursday, February 7th, 2008
3:33 pm
the next 10 months are going to be very trying. i am forcing myself (excluding holiday time with my family and a few friends) to work 6 days a week at the salon
i am not making enough money to cover bills, pay back my parents, and put a roof over my head.. not to mention putting some aside for flying home in august
i want to finish paying bills.. i want to break even again
i want to save enough by the end of the year to go travel again
london might not be the easiest path ive taken in my life, but i will ride it.. and work fucking hard to do what i need to do.
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
9:31 pm
tired. slightly homesick. bored of being youngish old.
could use a good spooning session

maybe its just pms

Current Mood: mehh
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
10:28 am
have you ever made a connection with someone immediatly? where conversation flows freely and easily, no topic is off grounds and all the initial small talk is unneccessary..
I am meeting people i have common ground with.. at work sometimes it can be stiffling. an insult to them is to call someone a dyke. i cringe at the thought of it
i raise my voice to stereotypes, and i get shot down, looked over.. misunderstood
..i do like my coworkers, dont get me wrong, we just have very very little in common.. and different ethical veiws on the world around us.. i am comming to a place in my life where i know what kind of people i want around me, and more who i am as a personality
i might put in a transfer notice, move more into London and work a bit closer to home..
i am starting to get restless with my work there, i feel ready for some sort of change
i thrive on it

i get to have drinks and cut hair tonight, cook dinner for a friend i havent seen in a while tomorrow, and possibly see a show on friday night
ahh.. the week proves to be going in the right direction

Current Mood: full
Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
10:13 am

Easy and Beautiful under your eyelids
as the meeting of pleasure dance
and the rest

I spoke the fever
the best reason for fire
that you might be pale and lumious
a thousand fruitful poses, a thousand ravaged embraces
repeated move to erase themselves

and you seem nothing but lovelier naked
naked in shadow and dazzlingly naked
like a sky shivering with flashes of lightening
you reveal yourself
to reveal yourself to others
to much for a poetry reading at work?
to personal perhaps
we're having a team meeting, and have been asked to bring in a poem and book that has meaning to you
stone butch blues?
an explict paul eluard love poem?
i am currently reading the acid house by Irvine Welsh.. maybe ill just bring that in

whole day off today
shop first, lay in park after


Current Mood: calm
Monday, September 3rd, 2007
10:46 pm
I am running the pavement in foreign shoes. i am not who i was, or who i wanted to be, i just am. it just fits. no one knows my history here, it is my saviour, it is my handicapp. i cut off my hair (then coloured it purple), i changed my fashion (checkered bags and leg warmers anyone?). i am who i always wanted to be without the judgement of home and expectations. i miss my family the most. my mum. the house..
I was in Soho last night, drunk in a gay bar, having conversations with strangers about the problem with relationships in the first place. i got to talking to this one guy and we did like a 2 minute on our lives to each other, interesting. being briefed about someone you just met. he told me i should quit smoking, he even threw my cigarette out into the road
this city holds some baffling people.

I climbed up the lions in Trafalger Square.. finally saw the national gallery, and got as close as i have been to big ben and all that malarkey. today i reclused at home and read my book all afternoon (mostly in a soapy bathtub) even though i was supposed to run errands in the city

i stopped eating meat again,and tried getting back on staceys meal plan from way back when

i weigh 10st. 68kg. 140lbs.
and it doesnt bother me to be this weight

i feel more acomplished as a hairstylist then i ever have, at ease with all types of clients, finally.

i know this is where i am supposed to be, right now, right here. i still have a lot to work out, but this isolation is what i needed to grow up, to understand myself and my pursuits

Current Mood: simple. or something like that
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